My Friend is Suicidal, How do I help?
Its mental health month. Whether you know it or not, I’ve attempted Suicide twice in my life. I don’t wear it as a badge of honor, rather I wear it as a reminder of Grace.
I tried killing myself. Twice.
If it weren’t for blood and a hospital, the second one would have worked. (I’m sure a lot of people wish it did. Trust me, I tried to help you!)
Since then I’ve sought to bring awareness to it and practical steps for people who are connected to friends and family like me.
Today this blog addresses three things.
1-What are some ways people self harm
2-What are some warning signs
3-What are ways you as a friend and family member can help.
Yes, theres a suicide hotline, local non-profits, and therapy. Truthfully, I had all of that…went to church…and after a worship service…wanted it to be over. Maybe the catalyst isn’t in a referral, its you!
Let me also pause and say, I know the feeling of being told that my mental state was an, “inconvenience” and “frustrating.” To those of you who are inconvenienced or pained by the presence of the heaviness of another person in your family or friendships, I apologize on their behalf. I want you to know they did not trust you with a vulnerable dark side of their lives to hurt you, they see healing within you!
1-What are some ways people self harm
Self-harm refers to intentional actions or behaviors that cause physical harm to oneself as a way to cope with emotional pain or distress. It's important to note that self-harm is not a healthy or effective long-term solution for dealing with difficult emotions. Here are some different types of self-harm:
Cutting: This involves using sharp objects, such as razors, knives, or scissors, to make cuts or scratches on the skin.
Burning: This includes using heat sources, like lighters, matches, or cigarettes, to burn the skin intentionally.
Scratching or picking: This involves repeatedly scratching or picking at the skin to cause injury or create wounds.
Biting or hitting: Some individuals may engage in self-harm by biting themselves or hitting their body against hard objects.
Hair-pulling: Also known as trichotillomania, this involves compulsively pulling out one's hair, often resulting in noticeable hair loss.
Ingesting harmful substances: Some people may ingest toxic substances or overdose on medications as a form of self-harm.
It's important to remember that self-harm is a sign of underlying emotional pain or distress.
2 - What are some Warning Signs that someone is Depressed and/or suicidal?
Here are some warning signs that may indicate someone is struggling with suicidal thoughts:
Expressing direct or indirect suicidal thoughts: They may talk about feeling hopeless, trapped, or like a burden to others. They might mention specific statements like "I wish I wasn't here anymore" or "Everyone would be better off without me."
Sudden changes in behavior or mood: They might exhibit significant changes in their behavior, such as withdrawing from activities they once enjoyed, isolating themselves, or expressing intense sadness or despair. They may also display signs of extreme mood swings or irritability.
Giving away possessions: They may start giving away their personal belongings or making arrangements for their finances or affairs as if preparing for the end.
Increased substance abuse: They could begin using drugs or alcohol more heavily or engages in reckless behaviors, it could be a sign of an underlying issue.
Social withdrawal: They may start isolating themselves from family and friends, avoiding social interactions, or canceling plans frequently.
Changes in sleep patterns: They could experience disturbances in sleep, such as insomnia or excessive sleeping.
Drastic changes in appetite: They may have a significant loss of appetite or engage in emotional eating.
Expressing feelings of worthlessness or guilt: They may constantly put themselves down, feel like they're a burden to others, or believe they've let everyone down.
Preoccupation with death or self-harm: They may frequently talk about death, dying, or self-harming behaviors. They might also engage in online searches or discussions about suicide methods.
It's important to approach the situation with care and concern. If you notice any of these warning signs, try to reach out to your friend and let them know that you're there to listen and support them. Encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional or helpline. If you believe they are in immediate danger, don't hesitate to involve emergency services to ensure their safety.
3-What are ways you as a friend and family member can help.
It's important to approach the situation with empathy, understanding, and a non-judgmental attitude. Here are a few suggestions on how to speak to someone who is struggling with self-harm:
Create a safe and non-judgmental space: Let them know that you are there to listen and support them without judgment. Encourage open and honest communication, and assure them that their feelings are valid and respected.
Express concern and care: Let them know that you are genuinely concerned about their well-being. Use statements like, "I'm worried about you" or "I care about you." Show empathy and compassion to help them feel understood.
Encourage professional help: Suggest that they seek professional support from a therapist, counselor, or mental health specialist who can provide appropriate guidance and treatment. Offer to help them find resources or accompany them to appointments if they are comfortable with it.
Be a good listener: Allow them to express their feelings and thoughts without interrupting or offering immediate solutions. Sometimes, simply being there to listen can provide immense relief and support.
Avoid judgment and criticism: Refrain from making negative comments or expressing judgment about their self-harming behavior. Remember that self-harm is often a coping mechanism for deep emotional pain, and criticizing or blaming them may further isolate them.
Encourage healthy coping strategies: Offer alternative coping strategies that can provide healthier outlets for their emotions, such as engaging in hobbies, physical exercise, journaling, or seeking support from friends or support groups.
Stay connected and follow up: Maintain regular contact with the person and let them know that you are there for ongoing support. Check in with them regularly and follow up on their progress or any steps they may have taken towards seeking help.
Remember, while you can provide support, it is essential to encourage professional help as self-harm is a complex issue that often requires professional intervention.
I hope and pray this helps. My goal is to prayerfully give you some options and opportunities to encourage and love your loved ones who are on the verge of taking their lives away from themselves.
God bless all of you.