Grief and Christmas
Christmas is always an interesting time for me. It is full of highs and lows. High because the togetherness of family and friends. Lows because of the lack of family and friends. Some of us are unable to travel home to be with others. Some of us are celebrating without some of our closest friends and loved ones who have passed away. Where is God in grief?
Is it possible to have good grief?
Whenever I counsel people in loss I always tell them about the Paraclete - a God who is with us a comforter. As we celebrate Emmanuel being “God with us” its hard to find God in grief. The Bible says God is our comforter (Isaiah 66:13) but sometimes saying “He is my Comforter” would be admitting whomever is dead. Thats not easy.
God can meet you and comfort you. The God who said you and gave you the relationship with that person can still be God in Grief.
How does God show up in Grief?
1. In quiet expectation
The idea of quiet expectation came from two verses. Psalm 62:5 in the King James Version reads, “My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him.” And, in Romans 8:26, the apostle Paul says the Holy Spirit will help us pray when we aren’t sure what to say.
When your heart cries and you can’t couldn’t put prayers into words, wait in quiet expectation, expecting that somehow the loving God you know will be exactly that, a Loving God.
2. Through the support of Christian friends
Everyone needs time to mourn alone, but we also need each other. God promises, “For where two or three gather in My Name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20). Community happens in community. Life is always better together. There are others who have the same weight. Weight distributed changes everything!
3. When we invite Him into our pain
Isaiah 53:4 says about Jesus, "Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering.” Jesus didn’t only defeat death when He died on the cross; He defeated pain and suffering. Just as He gives Christians new life on this earth and forever in heaven, He bears our pain on this earth, before it will be gone fully in heaven. The pain is not just physical but spiritual, emotional, and personal. Jesus defeated it all!
You’re going to be okay.
Death is never a waste to God, its actually growing the kingdom of God.
Death only happens when life is too big for the body.
To invite Jesus into your pain, when you are able, read your Bible, go to church or small group, pray, and quietly wait on Him.
Don’t downplay God’s comfort as a cliché; ask Him to help you experience Him as God in the midst of your grief.